Cultural Shift - More Women Waiting Until 40+ to Have Children
- Jul 20
- 7 min read
To me, kids are always a good idea. One of the very best, really. I think we can all agree on that.
Still, trends show women in their 20s and 30s are putting off having children more than ever before. A growing percentage these days are choosing to enter motherhood after 40 - a seismic shift from past generations. On top of that, the rate of women becoming moms in their 40s has now surpassed the teen birth rate.
As a mom who had my third kiddo as I kicked off my fourth decade – I can attest that she was a monumental gift that changed my life forever regardless of my age – but I digress.
Getting back to what's been recently revealed by the National Center for Health Statistics, birth rates among women 40+ have tripled since 1990. Back then the rate hovered around 1% for women beyond their 40th birthday, and now it's tripled to more than 4.2% in 2023. Meanwhile, the teen birth rate in 1990 was 13%. Now, they make up only 4% - a remarkable 70% drop.1
While many applaud the decrease in teen births, and we should, it's partially explained by statistics showing sexual activity among adolescents has been down for several years running, as noted by the Office of Population Affairs. However, it's also important to mention that teen births have decreased with still-too-easy access to abortion, especially the very risky chemical/pill, available by mail.
When Should Women Have Kids?
The answer is - there's no definitive answer.
God is the author of life, and when He brings about conception – the time is absolutely right. That life is precious and on time.
We can also learn valuable truths about our bodies and how, per God's design, they function in relation to our age and fertility. Medical News Today statistics explain the biological decline of the number of eggs a woman's body carries and how that number trends with age. At birth, a female has up to 2 million eggs. Then, it gradually decreases over time. A woman between 18 and 31 has optimal fertility with 300,000-500,000 eggs. Soon after, the drops become more dramatic, with only around 120,000 eggs available by age 32. At 37, women are down to around 25,000, a 90% drop. 2
Added to that, a scarier statistic for those planning to have babies later in life puts the chances of getting pregnant at only 5% after age 40, which should be a cautionary consideration for those purposefully putting off motherhood until…someday.
This next statement is from yours truly, and from a purely anecdotal perspective. Please don't lose heart if you haven't begun to try for a child and this information seems discouraging. You and I both know plenty of women who've welcomed little ones in their late thirties – and into their forties. It could happen for you too!
"The 30s are the new 20s for having babies" was the title of an article published by Data for Health, which shared how 30–34-year-olds now have more babies than those in their early to mid-20s. Compared to 1990, moms 20–24 have seen a 44% drop in births, while those 25–29 are down 23%.
So, What's the Hold Up?
There have always been a variety of reasons that women choose to postpone motherhood. Some are marrying later, or not at all. Career and financial goals come into play, as do psychological and emotional concerns – along with the idea of carrying a baby and its effects on the body of the mom. Yes, there's that.
Recent generations, who grew up as digital natives, often find community and "connection" through a screen. That poses a significant challenge to getting into a meaningful, especially lifelong, relationship. It's hard to blame them, given that they grew up in a radically different culture than many of us. Think of it – many 20-somethings didn't experience their teen years hanging out at the mall or gathering in a best friend's basement to watch Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve – just me?
Instead, they lived through the COVID debacle doing school and prom online. Of course, many do find their way to love, and some marry – and some have kids. The path is just not as linear as it was for previous generations.
Then there are trends in entertainment and online that push against the "sacrifices" of parenthood and explore new ideas and different definitions of fulfillment. Among them, some celebrity voices and influencers are critical of any traditional view of life and family, expressing particular disdain for motherhood.
Last year, Chappell Roan, a singer-songwriter who calls herself a "gay drag-queen," shared her frank thoughts on parenthood during a podcast appearance. "All of my friends who have kids are in hell."
Roan went on to explain, "I actually don't know anyone who is like, happy and has children at this age."
(She should get out more.)
Oprah once shared that children would've "derailed her destiny."
Friends star Jennifer Aniston said about having children, "This is my body, my life…and I don't owe anybody anything."
Nice.
If you listen to some of the more caustic, and sadly quite influential voices on the subject these days, you'd hear laments about a whole host of things – from losing that bikini bod, losing sleep, losing your status at work, to losing free time for fun and spontaneity with a husband or significant other. It sounds like a whole lot of losing.
Why Should Women Have Kids?
Of course, women should and do have a right to forego motherhood for any reason. While some avoid it throughout their lives, others, often to their great sorrow, find themselves unable to conceive. Blessedly, many choose motherhood through adoption, offering love and a forever family - and ultimately changing destinies for babies, kids, and teens.
However you do it - there are so many reasons to buck the trends and dive into becoming a mom. It's fine if you're waiting – but don't be afraid to jump in.
Sure, it will be loud and often sticky. But as mamas here will attest, it is the greatest gift. The absolute best. God's most beautiful miracle of life, and a woman is privileged to join His creative genius, growing a child within her body, nestled close to her heart. Astounding!
At the end of the day – I'll restate what I said at the outset. Babies are a good idea whether you are 22 or 44. The challenges are different, but the blessing of children is never out of style.
Advanced Maternal Age
That's what they call it when you hit 40. I saw it scrawled on my medical chart when I went to my OB appointments during my final pregnancy. There are greater risks, to be sure, including higher rates of miscarriage or other complications.
During my pregnancy at 40, we were warned of potential problems that could affect our little one. My husband and I were determined to go forward. We decided to skip the recommended amniocentesis test since whatever it might have revealed - even if we received a difficult diagnosis – we knew we could not have aborted our sweet girl. So instead, we soldiered on, prayerfully hoping for the best, and that fall welcomed her into the world – a true blessing from God.
IVF: A Sometimes-Complicated Path
As I mentioned previously, another challenge couples face when they postpone parenthood is the difficulty of getting pregnant. Infertility, whether because of delay or for other physical reasons, leads many to explore expensive procedures like IVF (in vitro fertilization), which they begin to see as their only avenue.
IVF has its own challenges – despite the high cost, some don't find success with this procedure. Thankfully, others do. Then, some couples who desperately want children are concerned with certain ethical questions considering the moral value of these embryos and the ones that are discarded.
Precious children have been born through IVF, and for younger moms under 35, there is a 40-50% success rate. This drops as the woman ages. At 41, the likelihood of a pregnancy through IVF is only around 10-15%.
Still, IVF leads to 2-5% of births globally. 3 And in the US, the count of littles through that procedure hit a new high of 100,000 in a single year.4
Through science and the spark of God, you and your husband are creating your very own family. You'll experience the gurgling joys of babyhood and marvel as your child develops, learns, and reveals his or her unique personality. That little one will bring laughter and tears – and one day, as young adults, may become your lifelong friends.
Children are a gift to your family, your community, our culture, and the world - especially if you are raising them to be faith-filled, caring, courageous young patriots.
Often culture shifts move like a pendulum. A swing in one direction – in this case, discarding traditional ideals like the value of children - may be followed by a swing the other way – back to the rediscovery of the treasure and legacy found in offspring and family. We pray it will be so.
Podcast note: During our recent time in Washington, DC, we enjoyed an inspiring conversation with Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins. She shared her heart as a mom, her journey into public service, and the faith that has guided her every step. She gave us a behind-the-scenes look at serving in Washington, the joys and challenges of leadership, and why strengthening families remains central to a thriving nation. Secretary Rollins also reminded us why America's farmers are indispensable to our freedom. From the food on our tables to the communities that sustain our country, supporting local agriculture is essential to America's future. Tune in on Tuesday at 10am EST to listen to the podcast on your favorite platform: YouTube, Rumble, Spotify or Apple