How Real is Postpartum Depression?
To most, the answer to that question is pretty obvious.
For about 1 in 8 mothers, it’s very real. 1 They’ve lived it. And that rate could be even higher because it’s not always reported.
There’s so much to consider beyond the simplistic nature of that question, though. Looking seriously at this deeply painful illness, it seems almost random in the way it descends upon otherwise happy, healthy, young moms. It’s more serious than the “baby blues,” and more complicated than that one named diagnosis. Under the umbrella of postpartum depression, there are related conditions like postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, and, as we’ve seen in the news, postpartum psychosis. We won’t delve into the Lindsay Clancy case here, even though it has sparked new interest in the topic. Instead, we want to get into what most women experience if they face a postpartum struggle with depression.
If postpartum depression has touched you in any way, we want you to know that though you may need help, you are not crazy, and there is hope.
Postpartum Depression IS Real
It afflicts millions of young moms in different ways, as unique as each individual. Still, please don’t let fear of it cause you to shy away from having children. There is nothing better than welcoming a new life into your family, and the odds are still in your favor that you won’t be struck with this at all. Though we’re sharing some facts and some concerns for those who struggle, most who have suffered have also come through it and now thrive as moms.
It’s difficult to predict who may experience postpartum depression, though some may have more susceptibility for various reasons. Regardless, it is never something to blame yourself for. You can take prenatal vitamins, exercise, read your Bible, and think good thoughts; still, roughly 10-20% of mothers suffer to some degree.
One of the truly heartbreaking parts of this struggle is that when a woman feels the darkness of a clinical depression seep in – she may be tempted to chastise herself because she thinks she “should” be happy with her new baby. She might believe she doesn’t deserve help or that she shouldn’t be having these feelings. If you face this pain, believe this: you deserve support. And if you reach out, you can get through this.
What’s important is to be open, willing, and proactive in seeking help. This often involves a husband or a close friend taking action to help the hurting mom find appropriate care. We will point you to some available resources at the end of this post.
Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression
Baby blues are natural after giving birth. You may or may not have experienced the baby blues – but it can be a normal part of this period of adjustment after delivery. Before your little one arrived, there may have been festive baby showers and fun decorating a nursery. If it’s the “blues” after bringing baby home, you may feel down some days – but you’ll have up days, too. It’s temporary and may be affected by the drastic schedule change and lack of sleep, among other things.
In contrast, postpartum depression has a much more overwhelming effect. You may feel sad, anxious, or listless every day. There may be pervasive pessimism and hopelessness in your outlook, while you may experience extreme fatigue. Some moms report achiness, headaches, or gut issues. You may have serious doubts about whether you can ever bond with or care for your new little one. In extreme cases, some suffer thoughts of harming themselves or the baby. If you have these dark thoughts or impulses, it’s a clear signal that you should reach out to someone for help. Support is available even through the darkest season of postpartum depression, but you need that reinforcement, and you deserve it.
It’s also worth noting that most often depression doesn’t strike immediately after giving birth (though it could). Many women report the onset a few weeks after childbirth – up to a year.
If it’s the “blues” after your baby’s arrival, you may have difficult days. Still, you’ll have others when you feel significantly better. When depression is present, though, the dark feelings and pain normally don’t relent without needed intervention.
It’s Not Your Fault
Let’s be real here. Pregnancy is a lot. Giving birth is major.
Your hormones are crazy, with estrogen elevated during pregnancy, helping prepare you to deliver your little one, then dropping by up to 90% or more just days later. We tend to think of the hormonal swings teens experience during puberty, but they’ve got nothing on the dramatic hormonal shifts women experience as part of this process. Added to that, a dramatic loss of sleep as you’re attempting to recover from the process of making an entire human in your body – and then squeezing it out of a portal normally much too small for such a feat. The new baby’s schedule may make it tough to get regular, proper nutrition, not to mention the very real struggle to find 20 minutes for a shower.
During her appearance on The Unplanned Podcast, author and clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Smith recalled something one of her professors said in a lecture regarding the postnatal period: “He said a woman’s mental health is never more vulnerable than in the first year after she’s given birth.”
She continued, “I think it’s one of those life experiences that you don’t get it until it happens because it’s almost impossible…to fully comprehend the changes that a woman goes through…I remember my doctor saying… ‘every cell in your body is pregnant when you’re pregnant.’ It changes everything.”
Dr. Smith went on to compare those tumultuous days with a new child to tactics used to “break” a prisoner. “You take any human being, and you want to ‘break’ them down, you would mess about with their routine, you would take sleep out of the equation, you would isolate them from other people, and you’d kind of mess around with their diet…After a woman’s had a baby, all of those things, which are weapons of war…all of those things are affected monumentally. And then we kind of question why women are struggling after giving birth.”
On a Focus on the Family show, “Embracing Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression,” Jerusha and Jeremy Clark discussed their experience with the disorder. Jerusha recalled that her severe depression took hold when her breast milk dried up in the first few months after giving birth. She called the free counseling consultation line at Focus, and the counselor soon asked her to put her husband on the line, urging him to take her to the emergency room.
Having recovered from bouts of postpartum depression after two births, she now speaks about her struggles to encourage others. “If you can imagine, like, thinking that God was telling you to take your own life, how twisted and confused that is… I had the Holy Spirit in me, and yet, these dark thoughts. I didn’t even have a place to put them. I didn’t even know how to sort them out. And so that’s why I’m so passionate about going and speaking to people who struggle with clinical, not just postpartum, any clinical depression, anxiety, because I know what it’s like to be there and I know that God can be victorious.”
Don’t Believe What Your Feelings Say
Like Jerusha, you may have experienced dark thoughts and replayed them in your mind. Some strugglers recall feeling that they are a burden to their husbands or families. Then they suffer with shame over those thoughts.
They may entertain ideas like, “My kids would be better off without me,” “My husband won’t understand if he knew the truth,” and “This will never get better.” Replaying those emotional responses strengthens the hold of this debilitating darkness. And they’re simply not true.
It’s hard to shake those voices in the throes of such emotional pain; however, we assure you that with appropriate help, you can feel better again.
Get Help Now
If you or someone you know seems to be struggling, here are a few things you can do:
✔️ Be brave and tell others honestly what you’re feeling, even if you are experiencing unsafe thoughts about self-harming or hurting others.
✔️ If it’s a friend or family member you know is struggling, gently but firmly insist that they seek help. Offer to go with them to see their doctor or to an ER if they express dangerous thoughts.
✔️ If it’s you, go see your doctor right away. Openly share every detail of these thoughts and feelings.
✔️ Be open to interventions. If medication is needed or some form of hormonal regulation, know that it may only be temporary to get you through this crisis.
✔️ Book time with a counselor.
Resources for Postpartum Depression
“Embracing Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression” (Focus on the Family)
“Faith and Postpartum Depression” (Proverbs 31 Ministries)
“Postpartum Depression” (Focus on the Family)
2 The Unplanned Podcast (guest: Dr. Julie Smith)
Podcast Note: Join Debbie Kraulidis and Kimberly Fletcher for three compelling conversations recorded at CPAC with Texas State Senator Angela Paxton, Angel Oakley, and healthcare investor Amir Mortazavi. From parenting in the age of AI to the healing power of food and nutrition, this episode explores how moms can protect their children, strengthen their families, and navigate a healthcare system that too often puts profits before patients. Discover the powerful role moms play in creating a healthier future for our families and our nation.
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