Moms Boost Safety By Giving Kids the Home Court Advantage
Having the home court (or field) advantage is no joke. When a team shows up as visitors, they feel it.
If you are entering Arrowhead Stadium to face the Kansas City Chiefs – you have some elite athletes to face, along with some top-notch fans who managed to capture the Guinness World Record for loudest stadium, achieving a migraine-inducing 142.2 decibels. Likewise, back in the day, those who faced the Boston Celtics on their home court experienced a sweltering visitors' locker room courtesy of legendary coach Red Auerbach. He not only relished cranking up the heat, but he also shut off the hot water so opposing players got cold showers. Then, reportedly, he would sometimes deflate their basketballs before pre-game warm-ups. Whether it's the crowd or the altitude (looking at you, Denver), the effect can be psychological or physical, but statistically, it matters.
The same is true for your kids. Your home and how you interact as a family can give your kids the most valuable home-court advantage. A strong home life provides a solid foundation for kids to grow up grounded and offers an extra layer of protection that can help now and into the future.
Home Without Helicopters
As we stress the importance of keeping our children close through a vibrant family connection, we mustn't confuse that with helicopter parenting. It's not the same. We aren't suggesting you hide your little ones (or bigger ones) from every possible challenge. It's not possible, or even preferable. Opportunities to try, fail, experience difficult relationships, and even heartbreak contain life lessons that build resilience, deeply valuable to a child's future success.
Mamas, we have to discern when to step in and when to let them work through a trial without intervention. It's hard for a mom's heart, but it's so important to let disappointment build character and the ability to lead. The Bible reminds us, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)
With that said, here are a few pro-moves that can help you build a stronger home life and safer kids:
Dinner Together
In recent years, studies have noted that currently, fewer families gather at the table than any previous American generation. At the same time, restoring dinnertime is probably the lowest-hanging fruit for moms who want to give their kids a leg up in life.
Families who gather around the table most days statistically have children less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol, engage in violence, with reduced likelihood of anti-social behaviors in adulthood. Another study credits regular family mealtimes with kids' stronger self-esteem, better school performance, less depression, less obesity, and lower incidences of teen pregnancy. 1 Sounds like a solid part of a plan to safeguard your kids.
For some of us, we had moms who could stay home to raise the children and keep the home. Economic realities a few decades ago made it possible for many families – thus, getting a healthy dinner on the table was an easier prospect. Now, a solid majority of moms work outside the home, making the nighttime ritual more challenging. Clearly, though, it's worth considering how, even with our modern, loaded schedules, we might make it happen, perhaps with a little creativity and family teamwork. It may be too much to get every night of the week built into your family's rhythms, so why not try for five dinners – or even three? Whether you're gathering around a crockpot creation or take-out, you may find the Table Talk Sampler a great addition. It has a month's worth of stories, quotes, and questions to keep things interesting during that important dinner hour.
Connecting Heart to Heart
Sometimes it seems listening is becoming a lost art. It can be hard to set down the smartphone and engage with eyes, face, ears, and heart. Focusing on your child in conversation strengthens your relationship. It creates confidence that you are a safe place to go when life gets hard. Kids can sometimes talk your ear off, no doubt, but when they do, we must remember that what they are saying is important to them. That doesn't mean every moment can be open for long "kidsplanations," but most of us could do better.
Often, bedtime prompts sleepy sharing, despite our eagerness to slip away to a little downtime for ourselves. It's almost as if honesty and openness come out when the sun goes down. This can be prime time for conversations with our kids and teens. Make sure your son or daughter knows no topic is off-limits with you. Your teens and pre-teens could be facing some pretty challenging things in the classroom or online. If they know they can talk about it with you (and you won't freak out), it creates a home base for their hearts that they can come to as they get older. Being willing to listen, even late into the night, can make all the difference.
Have THE Home
As your tweens start spending more time with friends, and all of the hormones and peer pressure ramp up, one way to help them navigate these things is to be THE home that is open and welcoming to gatherings and fun for your kids and their friends. It may take a little investment in pizza delivery and a movie, backyard sports equipment, or another entertainment option, but it brings fun and friend time to your place. This is a tangible way to give our children a home-court advantage and real-time lessons on what it means to host others and navigate different personalities, all in the safety of your home. An added benefit: you get to know firsthand who they are spending time with.
Meanwhile, because of the richness of your family relationship and the warmth of your hospitality, your kids' friends will get a taste of what life can be like in a healthy, loving, and faith-filled home. It's a safe place for your kids and a blessing to others.
Make Meaningful Memories
Part of that home-court advantage comes from family memories and treasured traditions. As fun as this part is, it's actually very important. Psychology Today credits family traditions and rituals with helping children grow up well-adjusted, passing along values and family history, and, not surprisingly, increasing happiness.2
Create a home that is filled with joy and celebration. Think of traditions you enjoyed during your childhood and bring them to your kids. It might be a bedtime ritual, Saturday morning pancakes, or a way you commemorate a lost baby tooth or the last day of the school year.
Holidays are the perfect time to create meaningful memories and traditions that will carry into future generations. You may attend Christmas Eve services, chop down a tree together, or go to your local zoo's holiday light exhibit. You may also have opportunities to serve together, like filling Operation Christmas Child boxes and remembering those in need around the world. These are touchpoints that create meaning and your own unique family culture.
Consider birthdays. Your child's big day doesn't have to break the bank, but it is the one time each year focused on them and what they mean to your family. You can make it meaningful simply by having friends, games, and cake at a nearby lake or park, pizza and friends for a movie at home, or, if money's not so much of an issue for you, it might be an extravagant party or getaway. The important thing to impress upon your child is his or her value to you, and that they are a creative, unique gift from God.
Talk Politics, News, History, and Patriotism
It's criminal that so many educators and influencers seem dedicated to teaching the young that they should be ashamed of their gender, their skin color, or background. It's like pulling the rug out from under a child. These same people denigrate our great nation, our history, our form of government, and our president. You can make a difference, though, at home.
When your kids are little, have patriotic celebrations for occasions like the Fourth of July and Memorial Day with red, white, and blue decorations and special food. It's even better if they can be hands-on and help create the party. Tell the many amazing stories from our history so they will develop a love for America.
As your kids get older, tweens and teens, talk about the news of the day. It can be easy to go on a rant after some of the news stories we see, but introduce something that happened, without pontificating. Ask what they think about it. Then, listen. Welcome questions. Nurture real back-and-forth, and your kids will be more likely to enjoy these conversations.
If they know you're open to talking about gender, substance abuse, CRT, alternative lifestyles and faiths- things that can send parents running for cover- they'll know they can come to you for an honest exchange. Having the heart of a teacher or a coach invites your child to process these weighty issues with you rather than an educator or TikTok personality who may have a different agenda.
Keep Your Marriage and Faith Life Strong If you're married, we've shared before how a thriving marriage benefits kids. It offers safety, stability, and confidence when mom and dad love each other. Your relationship with God, then your marriage, followed by parenting children. That's the proper order. In the throes of parenthood and careers, it can be a difficult balance to strike, but everyone in your family will do better if you prioritize your marriage.
You have a more challenging road if you're not married. As a single mom, you are forced to take on all of the responsibility, with God's help, of course. He cares for you and your precious little ones. Still, you are on a hero's journey, and our hats are off to hard-working single moms!
The most important safeguard that can be found in your home is a culture of faith and prayer. Give your family the gift of connection to a local church with other like-minded Christians who can bless and be blessed by you and your kids. Make Bible reading and praying for one another, the school day, and our nation a value in your home. Helping your kids find a vibrant relationship with Jesus is hands down the best gift you can give them. Full stop.
Consider what King Solomon wrote, "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain." (Psalm 127:1)
Podcast Note: Moms are the family's frontline defense system, and we will do whatever it takes to protect our homes and children. On today's episode, Debbie Kraulidis talks with Penny Nance, President and CEO of Concerned Women for America, who shares wisdom, encouragement, and practical insight for moms standing strong for their families and our nation. Plus, Wendy Yurgo, Founder and CEO of Revere Payments, joins Kimberly Fletcher to expose the dangers of 764, a sinister online network targeting and exploiting children. Learn what every mom needs to know to help protect her children in an increasingly dangerous digital world.
